Dear Santa,

For Christmas, I would like

• Running hot water: I almost jumped out of my skin when the cold water hit me this morning
• A Napalm Burger from Eli Canon's in Middletown, medium rare, with onion rings
• The following beers: Guinness, Dogfish Head 90 Minute IPA, Fuller's London Porter, Chimay Grande Reserve, Victory Hop Devil, Freeminer Deep Shaft Stout, Sierra Nevada Pale Ale, and just throw in whatever else you can come up with. Better make it a case of each.
• Sushi. Lots of it.
• A good size mountain, covered in virgin Utah powder, and a new pair of K2 Apache Crossfires (172 cm)
• A pile of new music of all genres. Anything that is not morna, funana, or zouk is fine.
• A comfortable couch. You'll never realize how great couches are until they're gone.
• A Tool concert
• A really good martini: Bombay Sapphire, dash of vermouth, a little dirty
• A steak, medium rare, with A1
• Some green grass to lounge on for an afternoon. Foss Hill would be ideal, but I won't be picky.
• Shade.
• A real haircut, i.e. one that isn't me with clippers and a mirror
• Fresh fruit. I should probably put this one at the top. Oh lordy I need some real fruit.
• An evening of bar-hopping with the usual crowd somewhere in New York
• Copies of the newest seasons of Nip/Tuck, Family Guy, Rome, and Entourage
• etc etc

If any of these things seem silly, get them for me anyway. Not to give the wrong impression that I am unhappy here. Far from it. But some luxury would be nice.